In the last two weeks, two people I know, both in their 50s, passed away in entirely unrelated circumstances, in different countries. Sadly, I won’t be able to attend either funeral service. This has naturally brought sadness, especially for the loved ones they have left behind.

A few weeks ago, one of my trusted marketing suppliers sent me a message that simply said, “What people say at funerals, they really should say at birthdays.” That phrase struck a chord. It made me realise how often we fail to let people know how they have positively, or even negatively, impacted our lives.

This sentiment ties into the broader idea of gratitude—something I’ve been working on for the past five years since first hearing about it on the School of Greatness podcast. But this particular thought was something I could act on immediately. A few days later, I had the chance to try it out, and it felt incredible to go that little bit further. In a world where social media has reduced birthday greetings to a simple “HBD Bro”, I wanted to make my words count.

To make sure my message was meaningful, I asked myself a few guiding questions:

• What has most impressed you about this person?

• What joy has this person brought to you?

• How do you genuinely feel about this person?

• What have they done that has made you laugh?

• How has this person influenced you?

These questions helped me craft more thoughtful and heartfelt messages.

Now, I want to reflect on Kai and Shiona, the two individuals who recently passed away.

For Kai, whom I knew as a work colleague in Germany during the early 90s and followed on LinkedIn over the years, I raised a glass and said, “One special aspect I learned from you was being passionate about what you undertake. You amazed me with the enthusiasm you brought to the team, lifting our work from good to great.”

For Shiona, a close friend of over 10 years in Dubai and Hong Kong, we’re planning a picnic in her honour, complete with a glass of bubbles. My tribute to her: “Your smile and energy were infectious, and your laughter could brighten any room. Your quirky, left-field comments often had us all in stitches. The way you cared for Boris, our Great Dane, when we were away was so touching—it even led you to get Tex, your own dog. The times we spent chatting about the world and the artistic way you saw it were enlightening, and I’m so grateful to have had you as my friend.”

I challenge all of you to step up and go above and beyond for those who can still hear what you have to say. If you decide to take this on, do it in your own style. If you’re not a natural wordsmith, don’t force it—keep it genuine, and your message will resonate.